


Spinning a Yarn

by BardofHeartDive, bioticfox (ayambik)



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crochet, Fluff, M/M, ME3, Multi, Surprise Gifts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-12 00:20:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11725611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BardofHeartDive/pseuds/BardofHeartDive, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayambik/pseuds/bioticfox
Summary: This is why you should not make jokes with silly authors. You never know what they might decide to run with…James & Kaidan decide to hand make a thoughtful (but secret) present for John - a woollen mug warmer, to keep his coffee warm on those sleepless nights spent filling out reports. However all does not go to plan, and he catches them in the act.Born from the prompt of John catching his lovers knitting or shirtless (or both).





	Spinning a Yarn

**Author's Note:**

> This was done to help fill the MEBB schedule slot on 7th August :)

James startled when John cleared his throat and asked, “How long have you been there?”

John smirked a little; James had his thumbs hooked through his belt loops, his shoulders slouched in what was supposed to be a casual posture but was too practiced to actually be. The back of Kaidan’s neck was red and he rubbed the flush, keeping his eyes trained on the floor.

“Long enough,” John answered.

Kaidan hoped that their half dressed states would be distracting as he slowly reached across the small table, trying to subtly cover the paused holovid with a sheet of paper. Judging by John’s raised eyebrow, Kaidan was neither subtle nor distracting. Neither was the ball of red yarn he hit, sending it rolling across the table and onto the floor. It bounced once then landed at John’s feet. He slowly lowered and picked it up with one hand. He looked back to his lovers, taking in their semi-nakedness, before his eye flicked over to the other balls of yarn on the table, one a deep forest green, the other variegated shades of gray.

“I love you both, no matter what,” he said, barely able to hide his laughter, “but if _knitting_ is going to be a kink in this relationship, I really think I should be told.”

“Crochet actually,” Kaidan corrected and Vega groaned, mortified. “Knitting is with two needles. Crochet uses a hook.”

“Is that really necessary, Blue?" James groused. _"Why?!_ ” 

John lost it then. He laughed at the ridiculous situation he’d found them both in. The look on James’ face alone was priceless.

“Care to explain?” he asked, shoulders shaking as he grinned at them both.

“Yes, Kaidan, ‘care to explain,’” James said, his voice pointed. “Since you seem to be the epitome of volunteering information this morning…”

“Well…” Kaidan started, “You see… It started last week, when, um, Liara called us into her cabin. Apparently there had been some _reports_ that she wanted us to take a look at.”

“There’d been some strange things happening on the ship, and Doc wanted us to see if there was any reason for concern,” James ventured.

“‘Strange’ is one word for it,” said John, looking back at the mess on the table.

“Yes, well…” Kaidan continued. “Joker had heard about this… thing.”

“This _war relief_ thing…” James supplied.

“Right, obviously. War relief. Thing.”

“Yes, and umm. Some of the refugees are a bit short on, you know, everything. So we’re trying to help.”

“And this ties into Liara’s report, how exactly?” John asked.

“Erm, well, Joker had been telling all the crew about the War Relief Thing.”

“But he hadn’t told Liara yet,” added Kaidan.

“Right, yeah. So, she was concerned about the crew and why we suddenly had so much yarn being brought on board.”

“Because asari don’t use yarn. Thessian textiles are made primarily from plant and synthetic fibers that are felted, not woven. So _she_ was under the impression that… that…”

“That it was being used for nefarious purposes. Yarn smuggling. Gambling. A whole underground criminal yarn ring. She seemed very distressed about it all.”

“I’m sure she was,” John said, turning the ball over in his hands. “Those underground yarn-smuggling rings are _very_ distressing.”

James nodded earnestly and John bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing again.  

“So, you met with Liara and…”

“And assured her that there was nothing illegal going on,” Kaidan said. “Strange, perhaps, but these are strange times. But she was still, um, distressed. So we assured her that we would collect, secure, and inventory it all.”

“Anything for Doc, you know.”

“Uh-huh. And that holo-vid on the table you tried to hide? That’s research? Or something to pass the time?”

“Well, you see, she also wanted to see the final product. But everyone else had already shipped their finished pieces to the refugees.”

“So we were, umm, researching. To find a video on how to do it. For Liara.”

“And you tried to hide that?”

“From you. Yes. Because if you saw the video about crocheting to help the war relief, you’d want to do it too.”

“And your to-do list is long enough as it is. Let us handle this one.”

“Oh, this one is all yours, I can promise you that,” John answered.

“So, yeah. That’s it,” Kaidan said. “All she wrote.”

John shook his head. “Sorry, K. There’s one very important thing you missed. None of that explains what happened to your shirts.”

“There’s only so many times a person can watch a double love knot tutorial vid without getting distracted, Loco,” James explained. “And the Major is very distracting.”

Kaidan blushed a soft shade of pink as both of the other men gave him an obvious once over. It deepened to red when John added, “That he can, James. That he can.

“And on that note, I was just coming to let you know that I’m headed to my quarters and should have at least four hours undisturbed, barring any disasters. Thought you might want to join me.”

“Yeah, of course,” James said. “We’ll be right up. Just let us get this stuff… stored.”

“I’ll be waiting,” John said, giving them each a quick kiss before leaving the observation lounge.

Kaidan exhaled hard as soon as the door shut behind him. “Well, that was awful.”

“It could have been worse,” James said. “That bit about the textiles was a handy detail. How did you even know that?”

“I’ve got my secrets,” Kaidan replied. “And speaking of that, if this is going to stay a secret, I need to make a call. Can you get it all packed up?”

“Under lock and key.”

Kaidan shook his head as he activated his omni-tool. “Liara… hey. James and I need a favor. In case Shepard asks about some… uh… yarn.”


End file.
